Why “Just-Be-Yourself” Doesn’t Get You Anywhere With Men or Women
By Christine Akiteng The philosophy behind “Just Be Yourself” is that if you just be yourself people will naturally be attracted to you, naturally love you for who you are and naturally want to be with you and that you do not have to do anything out of character” to attract or be loved. The irony is that many frustrated, lonely and depressed singles have spent pretty much all of their lives “just being themselves” and gotten nowhere at all with the opposite sex. Heres the thing. On a surface level, your whole agenda is to BE and DO only what is natural to who you honestly believe yourself to be. But on a deeper level, youve got your own little filters through which you interact with the world around you. You have all these little computer-like programs that have pretty well programmed you to be for example, self-centered and selfish (thinking of just yourself), aggressive, defensive and passive (insecure), stick to a well programmed set of ruled and norms (be boring), uptight and sexually repressed etc. Its true that you are just being yourself” and just being the real you” but this is the faultily programmed you. If you really want to become naturally attractive (BE you) and effortlessly attract (DO you), then be prepared to be honest with yourself and put in some serious effort into becoming the very BEST YOU; an improved, happier and self-fulfilled you. The common approach practiced by many men and women (and taught by many dating and relationship experts) is decide on the kind of person they want to attract (remember those want in a perfect partner” lists) and then they try to figure out how to get him/her. They read books, magazine and internet articles and even attend seminars and workshops on How-To-Attract. They learn (and implement) a few simple “techniques” on how to best present themselves to the opposite sex (put on their best dress/shirt, give their best smile, deliver their best pick-up line or flirtatious moves, do all the romantic stuff and say nice things like yes, honey” or please, baby” or thank you, love” etc) but whatever is inside (insecurity, doubts, anger, shame, sense of inadequacy or low self-worth), every now and then pops up like unwanted ads on a computer screen. And when this happens there is a DISCONNECT” in who you are honestly trying to be” (on the surface) and who you really feel you are” (on a deeper level). You (and the other person) may not realize the exact moment the disconnect” begins to happen but some how the other person starts to withdraw or simply cuts bail and runs, and you are left wondering where the hell did I go wrong this time, I was just being myself with him/her?”. You conclude that the problem must be with him/her and move on to the next person, only for the same thing to happen again, and again, and again… Millions of single men and women out there are putting their ‘best’ foot forward but really stepping on their own feet. They are playing by all the “rules” (when to call after a date, best conversation starters, playing hard to get, things not to say or do and stuff like that) and practicing the best communication skills but find themselves stressed out, sad, discouraged and frustrated because the results aren’t what they expect. If you really want to begin attracting a special man or woman into your life with very little conscious effort, you have to ATTRACT that person by BECOMING him/her. You have to re-program your Hard Drive and Install new programs that work for you rather than against you. Sometimes trying to do this on your own can be hard because much of your default programming (beliefs, habits and attitudes) is so much part of you that you do not even recognize there is something wrong” with it. That is why some people seek outside help from an expert. Once youve allowed your inner and outer magnificence to shine with all honesty and authenticity, begin getting ideas for how to present that very BEST YOU to the world. Presenting the BEST YOU is about giving yourself every possible advantage while remaining true to your values and vision for a fulfilling life. Some people require a detailed step-by-step plan to get moving. Others only need the general idea, and theyre off and running. Do yourself a big favor; dont listen to people who say just be yourself and someone will come along and youll live happily ever after”. Chances are people who tell you this are single and lonely themselves, or miserable in their relationships and marriages because they are playing just be yourself”. About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships. Christine’s websites: www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christine_Akiteng http://EzineArticles.com/?Why-Just-Be-Yourself-Doesnt-Get-You-Anywhere-With-Men-or-Women&id=544192 prescription for phentermine phentermine diet pills cod pharmacy phentermine cod buy phentermine no script
